Enough is Enough!!

I am not patient I am not calm, nor am I tolerant. I am very angry and I am aggressive and I demand. Why am I not safe? I need protection I need safety and justice too. Don’t tell me what I should wear, and don’t tell me when I need to be back home and please!!  do not tell me to take self defense classes or carry pepper spray.

For a moment I give it to you! You have the power!! Like He –man! why don’t to channelize that power and do something positive and better in life!! Why do you waste your time leching at us, looking through us and always treating us an object of entertainment.

Rather than asking us what we need to do, why don’t you’ll learn to behave and respect. And remember if you can’t, maybe it will be your mother, your sister, your wife or your daughter, and yes might be your grandmother too, since you spare nobody.

 We will continue to fight!! Somewhere all of you are scared of the breed we are. We are much stronger than you; it’s time you get that in your dirty brains! Its time you STOP!

Disclaimer: I am not anti- men, I am against those who lech, molest, rape to prove that they have power and they can rule over us.

I haven’t yet been raped- I am Lucky by Samta Arora

We are all affected by the brutality of the gangrape. There have been a zillion reports and stats. The shameful and disturbing truth in the midst of all this hullabaloo is that women really do not feel secure in Delhi. Delhi has a different definition of ‘Lucky’- If you have traveled in Delhi, roamed around the streets and haven’t managed to get raped, you are LUCKY.

It does take me back- reflecting on the 8 years I have lived in Delhi as a single women- how things have changed and how situations have forced to alter my priorities. Most of the other woman in Delhi will agree with me, We have all faced harassment- in some form or the other. Incidences have taught us how not to stand facing the men’s side seats while travelling in a bus, how to pretend fake conversations on phone while commuting in an auto late evening, being pestered by well-wishers to carry pepper spray, to keep an eye on all men walking beside us on the streets and beware of any negative signals.

I wanted to experience my share of late night movies, funky parties, crazy night-outs, late night dinners and I did. But on not less than 10 occasions out of these, I did feel threatened. I realized I was chased, another time a car blocked my taxi, I heard men screaming out rates to take me home, leave apart the zillion times when they would stare at me and hold their gaze like some hungry bastards. But I have not been raped yet- Perhaps I am lucky and blessed.

I heard pretty much everyone with a mouth, giving me advice- what not to wear, when not to step out, and how not to be loud in public places lest I attract attention, to avoid eye contact. I didn’t want to be armed, I didn’t want to go and learn self defense. All I wanted was to feel safe and not feel Jerry-like continuously living in the fear of Tom chasing and attacking me.

7 years down- I am still in Delhi. The situation hasn’t improved by an inch. It has rather gotten worse. I have had to learn- the art of surviving. I rather call friends for house parties or visit their houses than go out to a pub. I’d rather be ‘safe’ than go for that fun. I don’t give a second thought asking any of my guy friends to drop me home when I am late. I’d rather be ‘safe’ than hesitate asking favors. I reserve my dresses only to be worn at at huge get-togethers. I’d rather be ‘safe’ than wear what I like.

I have been forced to adjust in all these years, each time giving away a part of the freedom I would rather have enjoyed. I have missed out on many things that I otherwise would have loved doing. But then I made a choice to be ‘safe’ than sorry. I was forced to make this choice. I am a ‘LUCKY’ woman who has managed to lived in Delhi without yet having been raped!! 

http://toiletseatthoughts.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/i-havent-yet-been-raped-i-am-lucky/

Essay writing! or Blog

With the various blogs all over, ranging from food blog, health blog, to technical blog, general blog etc. I sat to wonder…

What is a blog...and what is so special ‘bout it???

Haven’t we been writing blogs all along in our lives especially in school? since we were in class I? ...My family, My pet , My best friend...what were they? oh oh oh they were essays or compositions!’ perfecto ! but how different were those write ups from the blogs we write today!

I remember in an essay on my family – I would add in all the facts (and also imaginations) about the family. Putting an anecdote here and a narration there ,and lo and behold! my essay (or composition) is ready to be graded :-). In my blog today I would probably write something similar, in a much more informal way adding more colloquial terms and a jargon or two.

In an essay on my pet , I would narrate how my pet looks or what he does or probably how much and why I love him. Today I might have a fancy name for the same blog and might make it a little more descriptive with pictures and again those informal touches.

So, basically we have been writing blogs from the time we were 4 or 5 and as time progressed our writings became more and more creative. Imagine, if we all could preserve all that we wrote and posted each of them today.

I remember one such eassy in hindi written by my classmate in class VII on Baarish ki ek raat, during one of our exam. His was the best and I remember teacher reading it out to us. The eassy was beautiful, he had narrated how he had got stuck in the rain one night. The kind of imagination he had potrayed as 11 year old kid was inexplicable. If I got that essay today I would sell it as a movie script and make money out of it. Also, if it was to be a blog today would have several hits.

There was yet another essay that I remember Mini India - where we wrote about the train platform, how we had different people from different cultures gather at one place. Now that too could also be a good blog!

Oh! there is this famous story (again bong) where a child prepared an essay on" The Cow" for his exam and in his exam he had to write an essay on" Ganga"- The river. So what do you think the smart guy do? he said that the cow was grazing in the banks of the Ganges and started describing the cow . What grades he got - I really do not know. But to hear about it was hilarious.

Similarities between blogs and essay writing:

a. Both focus on a topic

b. Often narrates an incident or an issue

c. Often takes an emotional bend while some narrate facts

d. Creativity and language is of core importance

e. Both can be interesting and uninteresting at times

f. You read on topics and keep yourself updated to better your essays and blogs

g. Good essays are appreciated, good blogs too are

Differences:

a. Essays are ex tempo and sometimes based on what the examiner wants you to write, while you decide you want to write a blog.

b. Essays are sometimes by force, you might not want to write a particular essay, but you do your best as it fetches you marks, blogs have no such binding.

c. Essays fetch you marks and your mark sheets depend on it, while you just have hits on your blog.

d. Ya and essays don’t gets “liked” or “commented” on and does not allow you to be famous anywhere beyond your own class. While your Blog may get you so famous that u can actually compile your blogs and get them published with a lot of fanfare (Arnab Ray – the greatbong blogger is a firsthand example with his famous book “'May I Hebb Your Attention Pliss” )*

To conclude I would like to say we all can write blogs, its a form of essay writing and that's what we are attempting to do.

* mentioned by Mriduta Pal

Simply Bangali!!!

Disclaimer: These are my personal views and I do not wish to hurt anyone’s feelings, rather want to entertain them. The names mentioned in the writing are fictitious.

This is in reference to my recent visit to Uttarakhand a week ago. Being a child and a student of geography I had always wished to see the Himalayan range for once and that too in India. Being a probashi with very few years of living in Kolkata; mandatory holidaying in Darjeeling, Sikkim, or the North East did not happen. Never did we as a family ever travel to the North, be it Uttarakhand, Himachal or J & K.

I sat to wonder why??

Are we not the Typically “Bhromon Pipashu Bangalies”??..... Those voracious travellers...Whose passion for new places not only takes them to every nook and corner of the country but even abroad?

Durga Puja Vacation and leave allowance in offices often go together in a Bengali family. None the less they can surprise you by travelling anywhere at any point of the year. So it is often too difficult for you not to locate one or more (if not almost 90%) of Bengalies among the tourists to any spot of interest.

Of all the places I have been travelling with virtue of my job, I have always spotted a typical Bengali family either at the rail station, bus station or at the airport, be it Bhopal or Pantnagar (I never heard of it before and I just landed there recently). Now what is a typical Bong traveller apart from them being spotted everywhere; check out:

1. They travel by Jagganath Travels owned by Jagganath da (elder brother) or Rajesh Travels owned by Rajesh who religiously cater to Bengali needs (read food) i.e luchi alurdom (fried flat bread and potato curry) for breakfast, mach, bhat (fish and rice) for lunch and kosha mangsho r porota (mutton and shallow fried flat bread) for dinner, not to forget the sweets that accompany with every meal. These organisers are superb but you still have the people in the group complaining:

“Moshai chutney ta thik hoyni bhujlen amsotto ta kom hoyechechilo ( Mr. the pickle was not upto the mark it had less of mango)

Or

“Mach er piece gulo dekhechilen ki choto moshai are ek piece kore kokhono hoy.( Mr. the pieces of fish were very small and only one piece is not enough)”

Or

“Bolchen toh Dada egg chow .. egg chow.. egg toh dekhci e na..( Mr. u insist you have served Egg Noodles.. but I don’t seem to find any egg in it ..)”

2. When they travel to places of high altitude they would definitely visit the Mall more commonly known as the Maal.

3. They would be covered in all their woollens, despite the weather outside being sunny and you would see a typical mom shouting at her son who resists wearing those woollen clothes. “Bappa bolchi na monkey cap ta pore ne thannda lege jabe” (bappa wear your monkey cap you will catch a cold)

4. They are loud and they travel in big groups and chaos is the other name, the groups always disintegrate and the search for the members is hilarious:

“aaaaai tuktuki haath chere kothay chole galo dekho toh..”(Hey where did tuktuki, trail off… leaving my hand)

“ei mantu, bablu ke dekhechis kothay chole galo bol to” (Mantu did you see bablu he disappeared)

“Bulti eideke ay amay haat dhor haria jabi” (Bulti come this side you will get lost)

5. They are excited to see what can be rarely seen and the emotions that flow in the form of words are what we experienced recently. On getting a glimpse of the Himalayan peaks at a distance at Patal Bhubaneshewer we saw a Bengali family run down to the spot and say these:

Mother to her child “ Eije Sonai dekhte parichis dakh ki sundor…….. ekei bole prokriti…babba gaye kata daye” (Sonai see see…Can you see the range ..It’s so beautiful.. this is called nature dear.. see am getting goose pimples)

Wife to the husband: “eije tumi puro ta vhidio kore phalo..” ( listen .. you better video record the whole view of the ranges).

A bit further I could see a guy explaining the formations of the mountains to his group, “ oi pahar ta dekhchen dispaarsed ar oita cheeseeld” (can you see that range it is dispersed while the other is chiselled).

And there would invariable be some sombre types who would be found reciting poetic verses or even singing befitting “Robindro Sangeeth”

All said and done I think I am proud to be a BONG, I am loud and clear, I love food and I love to travel, I can enjoy every moment I live, I like to be just myself, unleash my emotion the way I want, and most importantly I Entertain my friends and make them laugh even if it is at my cost J

Jio Bangali!!!!! (Hail Bengali)

…..And He is Called HAZARDOUS!!!

…..And He is Called HAZARDOUS!!!

This was when I was doing my Certificate Course in Social work from TISS. As part of our study tour, we visited Ralegan Siddhi, more popularly known as Anna Hazare’s Village.

Similar to any other Village people there were very accommodating and welcoming, for a few who have not visited the remotest of villages in this country, people despite their poverty would welcome you into their homes and offer you water and parle G biscuits. Coming to Anna’s village, the conditions were much much better, it had good roads, people including women were educated and youth were employed, of which many prefer to join the army, following Anna’s footsteps.

We were a group of 10 and we spent 2 days in the village. Speaking to the people there, we learnt that Anna served the Armed forces for a while after which he came back to his village with a vision to improve living conditions. Ralegan Siddhi earlier had pathetic living conditions, the village was located in a rain shadow area, the land was undulating and barren, conditions adverse for cultivation which led to insufficient food production and unemployment. Most of the families survived on one square meal a day. Some people in the village thus started brewing liquor to earn livelihood and gradually breweries in the village started to increase, serving as a source of income. Extreme poverty led to alcoholism and frequent quarrels within families and amongst people.

Decided to dedicate his life for social development Anna started with water shed development in his village. He was convinced that people with an empty stomach would not listen to his ideologies and philosophies. He started with watershed development, his helped in conserving rain water, recharging the groundwater and raising the water table. He carried out afforestation programs and banned open grazing of cattle. This helped boost the agricultural productivity in the village. Agricultural development created employment and curbed migration of people into the cities.

Today the villagers have completely given up brewing of liquor. Nobody sells liquor in the village. shopkeepers also do not sell cigarettes, beedies and tobacco in the village for the last 13 years. The percapita income of the village increased from Rs 225 –Rs 2500. Ralegan Siddhi being a successful example of watershed development, this model of ideal village has been replicated in 80 – 85 villages in Maharastra.

And you need to see it to believe it, the problem of untouchability that existed in this village, no longer exists’, everybody despite their caste and creed live in perfect harmony. Respect for women in this village is immense. Apart from all this population control has worked wonders in this village.

It is not about whether we support Anna and the Lok Pal or not, it is about knowing the little he has been able to contribute. With his movement against anti corruption – he has definitely been able to create a rage amongst the general public. It is movement yes, whether it will work, we really do not know. Even when the great Mahatma started his non violent movement, we were not sure that it will work, but time has shown and he is a Mahatma.

And if you say Anna is hazardous be it, there are many more in this country in the true sense …..

No Complains! Solutions!

“We live in one of the worst countries of the world, where nothing is right”- I often hear people say this. Problems like Population, corruption and poverty have made our lives difficult. And we can’t just stop complaining about it.

But what do we do about it, we were born in this country by default, we were not allowed to choose countries as we were not allowed to choose the family in which we were born. We are talking about problems all the time, are we doing enough to find a solution to just one bad thing around us.

I am amazed at the nonsense around, cricket is a very good game and we in India are crazy about the game. I seriously have no problem with the game and that people in our country love cricket. But yes I have a severe problem with the commercialisation of the game and people going crazy about it. The recent world cup aroused such a lot of fellow feeling in the country! People came out on the streets and celebrated together. How I wish people get together for several other causes that would make this place a better place.

Frustrations do happen, but how many who are frustrated actually think about doing something. Agreed we are very busy, but if there is will there definitely a way.

I have spoken to so many educated people, many being from within my close associates, who do not even understand what I do. I have been struggling for almost a decade. The only thing they understand is NGOs are corrupt and they siphon funds in the name of social work or social work is just donating old clothes or running and orphanage which is almost business. The old clothes are sold and orphanages make money. How many orphanages or how many NGOs have you visited is my question to them. You think you are the most sensible citizens of this country. I am not , but nor are you! And I consider you as blunt headed as any other person in this country whom you consider blunt headed.

Increase your knowledge about the development sector! Get a hang of what is happening around. To start with read about this NGO called SEARCH (www.searchgadchiroli.org ) in the Gadchiroli district of Maharashtra! It might give you a better sense and you might stop complaining for some time.

And then one day you find 10 years have got behind you..no one told you when to run you missed the starting gun.

Rightly said by one of my favourites PINK FLOYD..

Indeed and then one day I realize that 12 years have got behind me ……..there is so much to do and so little is done...I need to buck up and move fast in the rat race.